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Look What You Did!

by My Eyes Shut

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1.
how can I take you serious is it a matter of respect? when can I make a joke of this? I’ll avoid my problems instead father please speak to me show me now what is next father please bleed for me face their blade in my stead I wish I was born without destiny I don’t wear my divine purpose well best regards I’ll see you there in hell all these years have hardened you and you dare not give me a smile you are not that sweet young thing and you have not been in a while brother please make love with me we are one in the eyes of a god we are children of suffering we deserve the things that we want give it to me I wish I was born without these systems the kind that show me how to use your body I know I was born into my freedom change my mind and felt euphoria swell oh lord best regards I’ll see you there in hell
2.
Way Out West 05:28
I’m going way out west where the sun still shines where there's something left not yet starless and kneeling before the light under tall dark skies how handsome are you now? going way out west where there's something left to find tall dark moon see you soon i'm going back to the source And my carnivorous constitution let life and love and my violence flow through me so take care for the earth don’t forget your prescriptions, now I'm going back inside, son to stare at the cave’s reflection tall dark moon see you soon i’m not the one who sees i’m not the one who needs take her to the shed and come back clean i’m not the one who feels
3.
Nightcrawler 04:20
nightcrawler show me your hands palms upwards, knuckles out show me you’re clean this time around ‘cause I’ve seen this with you before why don’t you prove it to me now? midnight lover grab your coat the drive is long but we both know that sliding doors greet you the pale lights the counter takes your cigarettes and the strings from your sweatshirt oh, who knows what we’ll hang ourselves with? why don’t you prove it to me now? oh, who knows how we’ll cry for help? why don’t you prove it to me now? oh, who knows what we’ll do to ourselves? why don’t you prove it to me now? oh, who knows how we’ll cry for help? why don’t you do it? when we crawl out of the darkness in the devil’s coach what does he take when there’s no more faith? what does he take?
4.
Revolver 03:42
does it send a shiver down your neck when he’s making a motion like that? the one where he’s waving with his hand it’s a gesture that supports in his cruel act the careless way the wind may blow or the way a rotting carcass eats its flesh I ain’t never known someone who can move like that don’t grieve for the sun don’t grieve now for the sun if you wanna grieve grieve for the revolving one fingers tethered brings hope to your heart that’s the promise of reasonable thought but that ain’t never bountiful enough ‘cause his pleasure isn’t rooted in your mutual love raise a temple to honor in your friends or the ones who may have taught you how to forget I ain’t never had any friend like that don’t grieve for the sun don’t grieve now for the sun if you wanna grieve grieve for the revolving one
5.
On Purpose 03:43
poor reflection's been distorted to such ugly extremes an obsession of proportions that have grown so unhealthy but hey, what’s the purpose of your face if you ain’t willing to embrace all the feelings it displays? and hey, what’s the purpose of the mind if it don’t work good in a bind if you’re always in fight or flight? stop and question what I’m thinking can’t let my poor self be introspection of the sort that disrupts all my routine when I try and sort my problems I put it off til next week in a moment I could solve them by softening my critique and hey, what’s the purpose of your ear if it won’t bend while I’m near if I can’t get you to hear? and hey, what’s the purpose of a smile when it’s phony and unkind when you’re never on my side? and hey, what’s the purpose your face if you ain’t willing to embrace the lies it displays? and hey, what’s the purpose of that smile if it’s bullshit it’s unkind and you’re never on my side?
6.
it comes and it goes so welcome home acceptance is cruel, but it never asks us to be anything more than we are so he came and he went the clock strikes 10 in this sacred room there’s a place for everything and a seat at the table a rosary strikes the wall but makes no sound at all the cudgel of every path un-taken and unleashed sitting alone by the fire of my mind this place that I’ve built knows time after time that I’ll return to him and it’s armed to the teeth stoking the furnaces ‘cause time after time smoke over troubled water never signals a retreat it comes and it goes I saw you at home waiting on the stoop praying your way back in after the war even after everything I’ll take a memory headmaster makes his way to the door slowly to the door
7.
Summer Spite 02:57
in summer’s light a blossom starts to bloom then shrivels up in the heat it once consumed I cannot stand injunctions from above some solar glare piercing through our new trust authority finds ways of trickling in as if a stance alone justifies fists a flare, a beam of heat and steam protrudes this nodule controls the things we do I can barely talk about days that I once lived through when I know I won’t ever see life through that lens again it pains me now just to try and look through my sullied eyes so familiarized with suffering and awful news when I was young they said not stare at the sun some sacred source of light that can’t be trust now in its way of looking down on us I came to hate and resent all that it was although its warmth provides us all with life someday its flame will char our virgin sky the sun will make its way down to the earth and reap our flesh a harvest that it birthed I can barely recognize the feeling of a cool breeze down my spine no shiver runs so tired of the heat I always knew that I was right to question the intent of a light we were born of summer spite smoke is all we will breathe
8.
it was a weak and conciliatory wind that blew my control straight from my hands I didn’t take much convincing to dismay perhaps my convictions are weak and born to stray I’m dressing up now to signal my good will the outfit’s as convincing as a billboard on a sill but I don’t care if it’s genuine as long as I keep you in my hands sometimes I dream myself a hero in cartoons I’m the architect of a character that’s half-baked and untrue my leanings tend toward a spoiled silver spoon but god won’t be lenient if my teeth are rotted through maybe I should pick up some lost cause to call my own put the wrappings on a charity or just fly west back home soon I think my undoing will commence people got a way of spotting a knife behind my back but I don’t care if it’s genuine as long as I’ve got money to pay my rent I won’t mind cheating through my life forget finding purpose I will live to die maybe I could live in such a way I’m not so afraid of how the tides might sway I don’t have the clairvoyance to pursue an omnipresent goal that only serves to waste my youth so I don’t care if it’s all genuine if in fact someday it all ends
9.
another sad song for the books feels I just finished writing the last if I get off of this ride in time I might just enjoy myself before it comes off the tracks 4 AM, is it light yet? I know I should go back to bed but the ceiling is dull in the dark the only way out is through my love so I spent last week on my back the only way out is through it now so I spent it all slipping through the cracks and the pen is down now, oh yeah? just this once can it stay un-begun seems to me that just this once I can see through the beast and his blood and the bottle’s long empty I don’t feel any better, I’m not any worse I am myself fitting and furnished crashed and burned and eternal so I spent last week standing still the only way out is through it still so I spent it all just to get my fill of this it’s my life and I’ll waste it falling through the cracks instead

credits

released July 1, 2020

Alexandre Duccini – electric guitar, acoustic guitar (tracks 1 & 8), vocals (tracks 1, 4, 5, 7 & 8), backing vocals (track 2)
Seth Townsend-Tyers – electric guitar (tracks 1-2, 4-9), acoustic guitar (track 3), vocals (tracks 2, 3, 6 & 9), upright piano (track 1), hammond organ (track 2)
Emrys Harper – bass, backing vocals (track 2)
Erik Martin – drums, backing vocals (track 2)

additional vocals on track 5 provided by Gillian Frances

lyrics for tracks 1, 4, 5, 7 & 8 written by Alexandre Duccini
lyrics for tracks 2, 3, 6 & 9 written by Seth Townsend-Tyers
all tracks composed by My Eyes Shut march 2019 to march 2020

mixed and mastered by Nicholas Wilbur at Anacortes Unknown Recording Studio in the midst of the COVID-19 outbreak in march/april 2020

our sincerest gratitude to mark and oriana for their continued hospitality and endurance, and to all family and friends for their ongoing support, acceptance, input and enthusiasm as we relentlessly pursue self-actualization through sound

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My Eyes Shut Seattle, Washington

Alex Duccini
Emrys Harper
Seth Townsend-Tyers

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